Wednesday 10 May 2017

Brock Lesnar vs John Cena (WWE Extreme Rules 2012) Review

Brock Lesnar vs John Cena (WWE Extreme Rules 2012)



So, it's been a while since I have actually watched this TBH. We all know how great it is and we all know how frustrating it is once it's all over. So I'm looking forward to seeing one of the definitive Brock Lesnar performances.

First, we had Brock's MOMENTUS RETURN on Raw:



That fucking pop

Best wishes to John Cena's hat

I remember at the time, it wasn't that long since I came back to watching wrestling after a hiatus and there were rumours that Lesnar would be at Wrestlemania 28. I was giddy in my excitement at the sheer prospect of his return that I wasn't sure it would turn out to be true. But it was and it was glorious.

Then the main build up was one of the best in recent times IMO. Yes, we had that really long Lesnar promo about his feelings on Raw, that was totally out of his comfort zone that he apparently got straight on the phone to Heyman and told him to get himself a deal with WWE, ASAP.

But we got the wonderful brawl on Raw between Cena/Brock that ended up with Cena getting bust the fuck open.



We also got the first of the Brock sit down interviews;



“I'm not a superstar, I'm an ass-kicker”

Set the whole tone perfectly for the 'Extreme Rules match at the next PPV. Yes, we didn't have to wait long.

Cena was in for the match of his life. Would he survive? Could he survive?

So, here we go.

Weird looking back now seeing Brock come out without Heyman by his side. He's also rocking his UFC sponsors all over his shorts lol.

Cena comes down with a chain/padlock around his neck,

Someone say THUGANOMICS???

Wonder if that'll come into play later on.

Hot crowd and obvious big fight feel to this one. Huge anticipation.

The bell rings and Cena runs straight for Brock, but gets took down immediately and Lesnar starts the ground and pound with HUGE nasty elbows to the skull of Cena. He then nails Cena with one hell of a stiff clothesline (this is something else we hardly see him do now tbh)



OUCH, We can already see where this one is going.

Ref is already checking on Cena and Lesnar doesn't give a shit and is just like “Come on, get up”.

Cena is up and manages to get a grip of Brock from behind and takes him down, but Lesnar quickly takes control again and starts lamping Cena with strike after strike to the head. The ref intervenes again to check on the now open wound on Cena.

CENA LEGIT BUSTED OPEN HERE

JUICE, JUICE, JUICE

Here comes the WWE doctor to help clean up the blood gushing from Cena. Lesnar of course couldn't give a fuck and smirks away whilst pointing and mocking at how this happened.



As soon as the doctor is finished with Cena, Cena gets straight back up and again runs at Lesnar, but is again taken straight down and Brock just continues to hammer away at Cena's head. Brock just will not stop and delivers a vicious knee into the midriff of Cena, before kicking him out the ring. Cena is slowly getting back up with the help of the referee, but Lesnar is just standing in the ring, mocking Cena with a 'Come on' gesture. Cena manages to roll back into the ring, but his head is gushing a lot of blood still, so the doctor has to come in again a tend to the open wound.

Cena just gets back to his feet as Lesnar comes running straight at him, but Cena manages to catch him with an elbow and gets him up for a possible AA. Lesnar reverses this and delivers two German Suplexes to Cena to remain in full control.



Lesnar tries again for another Suplex, but Cena starts fighting back with some elbows to the head of Brock. He manages to break free and runs off the ropes towards Brock, but as he hits Brock, he also hits poor Charles Robinson, too.

REF BUMP ~!!!!!

Cena takes this opportunity to again run off the ropes towards Lesnar, but Lesnar is back up and hits Cena with a shoulder barge.

Just as Cena starts to get a little bit of momentum, Brock just says “I don't fucking think so”, and he's cut straight off.

Lesnar lands another stiff punch to Cena's head, right on the wound.

THIS ISN'T PG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Brock again hits Cena with another hard club to the head. He then wipes the blood onto his chest and licks it



THIS ISN'T A FUCKING WRESTLER, THIS IS A FUCKING CYBORG MACHINE

Cena goes to the corner, seemingly for the chain, but Lesnar catches him with a blow to the kidney. He then hits him with a couple of his patented shoulder slams. Cena is really hurting now, but of course Brock doesn't let up and we see the WWE debut of the KIMURA LOCK. The ref is knocked out, so Brock can apply this painful hold for as long as he likes. Lesnar finally releases the hold by throwing Cena shoulder first into the turnbuckle, sending Cena out of the ring.

See, it's subtle psychology that can makes all the difference.

Lesnar just starts doing his dance in the ring, soaking up all the heat from the crowd. Lesnar goes to the outside and reapplies the Kimura briefly, before sending Cena flying into the barricade. He then flings Cena back into the ring. Just before Lesnar re-enters the ring himself though, he notices that chain that Cena bought in with him.

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT

Brock wraps the chain around his right hand, before thinking “I don;t need this, yet” and abandoning it and kicking Cena instead. He follows this up with another hard, vicious, nasty knee strike into the gut of Cena. Lesnar then wraps the chain around the legs of Cena and tells him to “Get up”

Cena eventually does get up, but Brock runs him over straight over flat, with another big ass clothesline.



Lesnar then picks Cena up and dumps him upside down over the turnbuckle, with Cena's legs still tied up with his own chain.



Cena is just defenceless, tied up and helpless, as Lesnar mocks him and starts clubbing away with big blows to the head. Lesnar goes back to Cena's bad arm and starts slamming into into the ring. He lets Cena loose by dumping him on his ass, before going over to the referee, who is still flat out on the outside. But he notices Cena is getting back up, so he goes over first and kicks him in the gut, but Cena starts to fight back with some rights of his own, but again is quickly cut off by Brock and is sent crashing into the steel steps.

John just can't catch a break atm

Brock then goes back to 'check' on the referee. He goes over and

PICKS THE FUCKER UP WITH ONE HAND AND DUMPS HIM BACK INTO THE FUCKING RING



LEGIT ONE OF THE GREATEST SIGHTS IN THIS DAMN COMPANY, OR ANY. I just love how casually Lesnar does it, too.

Well, that should finally wake the ref back up. Brock goes over to make sure he's still compos mentis, before going back to target Cena, who is just crawling back into the ring. Cena tries to pick the chain up, but Lesnar quickly grabs it and throws it to one side. Cena gets back to his feet and picks ;Lesnar up for another AA attempt..........but Brock reverses it again and goes for the F5. Just as Cena is coming down, he inadvertently kicks the ref down again

REF BUMP NUMBER 2 ~!!! Poor Little Naitch.



Lesnar, not realising the ref is bloody down AGAIN, goes for the pin. Another ref comes running down just in time for the count.

1,.2.............................2.9. CENA KICKS OUT!!!!!! Big pop from the crowd for this, they are warming to Johnny boy, here.

Brock gets up and looks at the new ref like “THAT WAS A FUCKING 2??” A pissed off Lesnar gives the ref a clothesline from hell and kicks him out the ring.

Lesnar is now like “WHAT THE FUCK CAN I DO NEXT?”. So he goes outside and gets the steel steps and brings them into the middle of the ring. Oh, and more officials come to ringside now so we should be ok for refs, now

“YOUR'E ABOUT TO FEEL THE PAIN IN THE WORST WAY, DAWG” - Booker T.

Lesnar then gets onto the steps and poses likes he's the king. Well, he is at this minute.



Cena then does a very defiant “You can't see me” mock to Lesnar and starts firing rights at Brock, but Brock cuts him off with a knee and puts Cena right back into the Kimura Lock..............this time whilst on the steel steps. Cena is screaming in agony here as Lesnar strongly applies the hold and he just won't let go and there is no ref around to stop it.

A loud 'Let's go Cena – Cena sucks' chant starts up as they are again coming around to supporting him here.

Cena manages to sum up the strength to pick Lesnar up and dump him right onto the top of the steps to finally break the hold. Cena's arm looks like it's about to fall off here as he gingerly goes up to the top turnbuckle as Lesnar is sprawled out on the steps. He flies off the ropes with a leg drop, but Lesnar is wise to this and moves out of the way and Cena falls flat on his ass instead. Cena is hurt as he rolls out the ring to try and get some rest and halt this onslaught. Brock is just getting back up and is looking around, wondering where his prey, I mean Cena, has gotten to. Brock stand up on top of the steps to scout for Cena and sees him just getting back up on the outside.

Lesnar starts dancing and mocking Cena as he slowly watches Cena get back up onto the ring apron. Brock then runs off the ropes, off of the top of the steps, and flies straight for Cena..........but he misses and he goes flying over the ropes and nearly blows his fucking knee out.



Lesnar though, still doesn't give a fuck as he starts smiling at this experience and raises his arms in celebration.

HE'S A FUCKING MACHINE I TELLS YOU!!!

Brock gets back into the ring and continues to celebrate lol and carries on to soak up the heat from the crowd. Lesnar gets back onto the steps and is gesturing to Cena to get back up.

DON'T SAT HE'S GOING TO TRY THAT AGAIN FFS??!!!

Cena is again slowly getting back onto the ring apron. Lesnar again flies back off the ropes, off of the steps and again flings himself towards Cena.....................but this time he's met with Cena punching him right in the head.....................and Cena as that chain wrapped around his hand as he does it.



Brock's selling is wonderful here btw as he's grabbing the ropes and trying to make his way back to his feet.

One armed Cena is now feeling it and the crowd is fully behind him and is willing him on.

Lesnar is now BUSTED OPEN as Cena waits for him to get back to his feet. Just as he does, Cena hits him with a AA ONTO THE STEEL STEPS



Little Naitch is able to make the count now too.

1,2..........................................................3. CENA BEAT BROCK

Yup, CENA BEAT BROCK

More than a shitty ending to a fucking unique, brutal, special, one of a kind WWE match. Oh and no –

I AM NOT WATCHING OR DOCUMENTING ANYTHING THAT HAPPENED AFTER THE 3 COUNT, EITHER

NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED

NOTHING

So where to start with this anomaly of a match. I guess i'll start with the glaring negative and that is the result. I'm pretty sure 99.9% of people would agree in saying that Brock should never have lost his first match back. I understand Cena had only just lost to The Rock and all that, but I don't care, they could have easily had Brock win and Cena would have recovered, still. It's such a deflating feeling after sitting through the most surreal WWE match in years that it's the one thing some people will remember, rather than all the work that went into the previous 20 minutes. It's something that happened and time hasn't made it look or feel any better TBH.

So that out of the way, we can talk about the multitude of positives that this match bought. First of all; Brock's performance after 8 years away was nothing short of incredible. I can't even say 'Monster heel', because he was so far beyond that in this match. He bought the UFC to the WWE in a perfect mash up of styles. He didn't just bully Cena, he brutalized him to such a degree that you didn't know what the fuck you were watching. It was a single performance that just hadn't been seen that your eyes were fully glued on Brock throughout.

His mannerisms, his strength, his style. It was astonishing. He didn't need to move at a million miles an hour to victimise Cena either, he just slowly made his way around the ring in such a calculating manner that you just didn't know what he was going to do next.

I'll give credit to Cena too, here. His selling was spot on, he made the best of the few hope spots he had in the match and he turned that crowd fully around into fully supporting him at the end. They were willing him on and wanting him to win. Credit to of course to Lesnar, who put in such a commanding heel performance that it made the crowd turn on him.

It was a match that we hadn't seen the likes of in a long time, a performance we hadn't seen the like of in a long time and haven't really seen since TBH. We didn't see much of actual 'wrestling' here, either. Hey, Lesnar only used two suplexes :brock4

Ending aside, it's an incredible piece of high drama that it belongs in a category of it's own.

No comments:

Post a Comment